Sunday, May 24, 2009

What Would Happen If I Told the Truth on Facebook?








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12 comments:

  1. still life angieMay 24, 2009 at 8:09 PM

    Molly, I hear you. We need to start a campaign. Let's do it for a day. Let's organize an "Honest on Facebook for a Day."

    I once wrote a staus update that said, "Angie is so very sad." And I got a bunch of, "Oh, what's wrong?" It was three months since my daughter died. Really, you can't figure it out?

    XO

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  2. ezra'smommyMay 24, 2009 at 8:58 PM

    I can't tell you how many times I have daydreamed about doing this - posting on facebook how I REALLY feel. I have such a love-hate relationship with facebook anyway...too many baby pics and pregnancy updates.

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  3. Hope's MamaMay 25, 2009 at 12:55 AM

    This is why I got off it. I couldn't take it anymore. The happiness of others and my inability to share the truth. So now I hang out here instead.

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  4. MirneMay 25, 2009 at 3:04 AM

    Mmm ... I do post the truth on Facebook. Usually the only people who respond are other babylost mamas. Even when you confront people with the truth, they either don't know what to do or say or otherwise avoid responding.

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  5. forward tumbleMay 25, 2009 at 4:01 AM

    i second the honesty attempt. It's part of you and it's good to let it out if you wish to do so. Certainly don't pretend for others. This is your healing time. My circle of friends has changed radically since we lost Fionn.

    wishing you strength and peace
    xx Ines

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  6. Catherine WMay 25, 2009 at 12:18 PM

    Oh this has crossed my mind many times Molly! But I am too scared to write 'Catherine is missing her daughter'. Even something as simple and honest as that.

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  7. caitsmomMay 25, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    I hear ya. I do sometimes post honest "I miss my daughter" updates on facebook. I figure if someone can complain about a flat tire and a "bad" day, others can deal with my struggles. But, as someone already commented, usually other baby loss mamas are the ones who respond, but every once in a while someone else does and it's quite lovely for all of us. Peace. (The story of spreading Colden's ashes was powerful. Thanks for writing.)

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  8. ericaMay 26, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    The one time I was this honest on facebook, a coworker came into my office and gave me a hug. It was just what I needed, but also a good reminder that I probably shouldn't do this sort of thing over my lunch breaks.

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  9. LeaMay 29, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    Hi Molly - just came across your blog. I am so sorry about your precious Colden (beautiful name, btw). I am so sorry to hear anyone new joining this horrendous journey. I hope that you can find some kind of comfort and support among us...

    Strength to you.

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  10. mJune 3, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    If I were honest on FB, I would have to confess how much I hate the concept of using one's kids as a profile pic. On so many levels. And then I would lose at least half of my "friends."

    I was looking back a few weeks ago and I realized that the only status update that I made that even remotely indicated what was happening to us was this one: "m. is numb."

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  11. LaniJune 9, 2009 at 6:56 PM

    i've been pretty honest on facebook at times, but lately i find that it may not be worth it.

    as much as i hate the baby pics, i still have to look. not sure why i have to torture myself, but i do.

    oh molly, its really all so complicated. sending you lots of love. xo

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  12. JasmineJune 11, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Hi,

    The other day I read an article on 'still life with circles' on this very topic. It, and the subsequent comments really made me thing.

    The next time I was on facebook someone sent me something trivial with an attached comment of ' I hope this makes you feel better'. I found myself replying 'strangely enough it doesn't. My baby died and time isn't making it easier, not even a De La Soul gig can keep a smile on my face right now.'

    It is the first time I have publicly mentioned my loss on facebook, outside of baby loss group pages that is.

    Sadly, people don't really want to know. So now I don't really feel much like facebook at all. I would deactivate my account if it wouldn't offend too many friends and family who would mistake the action for purposely deleting them from my friends list.

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