Colden

I have just one actual picture of Colden, of his body. We didn't think to take any ourselves so I'll never have one of me holding him or of Brendan cradling him in his arms. Instead, I have a single image that the hospital took after he'd been taken from our room. He looks really dead in it and while I am so grateful to have it, I haven't wanted to share it with anyone. If I had an electronic copy, I would post it here because I know you guys understand, but among the non babylost, I'm much too afraid that someone would say the wrong thing. I doubt that I would ever forgive them and I might literally rip their heads off. Because he was beautiful. And he's mine. So all I can do is protect him in this tiny but ferocious way. So I'm really glad to have this beautiful picture of the beach all the way around the world as a way to remember him connected with something so beautiful and peaceful. I think I'm going to frame a copy for our apartment. Thank you, Carly, for giving me something beautiful related to Colden.