I want to tell them
9 years ago
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Liar
I think I'll start this blog with the acknowledgement that I am a liar. Every day people ask "how are you?" and I say I'm fine. That's a lie. I acquiesce to social expectations and keep going through the motions. I go to work, to parties, wherever. And each step is a lie. Each day a game of let's play pretend. What else am I supposed to do? I write inane comments on Facebook because the truth can't fit into a status bar. The truth is too overwhelming, too real, too sad. And yet if you're here reading this, I guess you're out there looking for truth. But I lie to myself. It's the only way to get myself out of bed every day.
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molly, you were the first to comment on my blog, and so let me be the first to comment on yours...it is a travesty that colden isn't with you, and in your arms. but i am glad i get to read your truth, and listen to your story, and cry with you about how unfair this all is. because it is fucking unfair. much love.
ReplyDeletemolly, i'm so sorry we had to meet this way. i am here with you on this journey of grief. we can all hear and hold your truth here.
ReplyDeletesending you love
Hi Molly, I'm a liar too. Sometimes I wonder what people would think of me if I could cram the truth into facebook's status bar.
ReplyDeleteI came to you blog from Glow In The Woods. Thank you for posting the link there.
I'm so sorry that you lost your Colden. He has a beautiful name. Life is so very unfair, I just don't understand it.
The title of your blog is very apt. We won the lottery that nobody want to win.
I think we must all be liars. But no-one wants to know how we really are. We're supposed to be "over it" by now. It's easier for everyone else if we "pretend" -- keep the pain inside where it doesn't bother other people. I'm sorry.
ReplyDelete